Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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