If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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