Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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