Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
