It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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