What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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