Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
