Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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