So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
