i need an iv and a liver transplant
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
