my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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