you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
