their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can't turn off my feet"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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