they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
