I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
