Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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