i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
