I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
