I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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