I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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