can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
