my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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