Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
