after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
worst night to have a conscience
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
