Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
