i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
