"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
