I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
