did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
