Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
