Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
