here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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