I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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