Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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