After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize