Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
