What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
