I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
