Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
