If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
