erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
