Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
the day after is always just damage control
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
