And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
