You smell like stripper and shame
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
