I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
