We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
