They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
