We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
now i know why i became what i already was.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
