Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
