i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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