So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
