i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
