gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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