wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
