Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
